Yes every gym has them, they are the
standouts of the workout world. They are not predominant of all who enter the
gym but they stick out like a sore thumb regardless. We stereotype them, snigger and turn our
eyebrows up at them but they are who they are. By no means am I here to pick,
in fact I don’t care what you do as long as you are exercising but just for the
fun of it let’s look at the top 10 in no particular order.
No 10: The Grunter: They are fierce, they are ferocious
or at least you would think with all the noise they’re making. The grunter has
a habit of pulling a Sharapova with every rep they perform. They are just
letting you know they mean business.
No 9: The
Hoarder: This guy is not the most popular as he can be found working up to three weight
stations during peak hour. He takes up half the gym floor and hasn’t a clue
that nobody is amused. Clearly he is not here to make friends.
No 8: The
Beauty Queen: she has style, she has grace, she has make-up all over her
face. What the?
No 7. Stinky guy/girl: wake up and
smell the roses....ahhhh I mean your armpits! How are we supposed to breathe when you refuse
to shower or put on some deodorant, have some manners and freshen up before you
enter next time.
No 6: The
mobile phone addict: what’s the go
these days with people unable to put their phone down for two minutes. I don’t
care if you want to take calls on the bike next to me but
do i have to listen to a loud running commentary of what you did Saturday
night.
No 5:
The plate loader: you have
gone and left four 20kg plates on either side of the leg press again and now I
have been left with the task of cleaning up after you yet again. Stop pushing
my buttons all the time and put your toys away like mummy taught you.
No 4: The
body builder: He is a lean mean vein
popping machine. He smashes out the weights and walks around sucking face with
his beloved protein shake. Not to be confused with the guy with oversized chest
and tiny chicken legs. He is focussed on the job and doesn’t say much but then again he doesn’t
have to, his big guns speak for themselves.
No 4: The excuse maker:
if I could come around to your house and prize that caramel chocolate
thingamabob out of your hands I would. You need to know that exercise never
made anyone fat, only the lack of it so get moving if you want to continue
eating like you do. Don’t tell me you haven’t got time, you are too tired or
you’ll get back to me tomorrow. Stop making so many excuses.
No 3: The warrior princess : she has no fear, free weights are
her domain and no amount of lingering testosterone can stand between her and
another set of deadlifts. She mixes it with the big boys whilst the little boys
stay well clear. By day she is a kinder-garden teacher, by night she is a warrior
princess.
No 2: The
Swinger: times may have changed but the swinger remains a staple in every
gym. Why do 10kg curls when you can do 20kg by propelling the body back and
forth, gaining as much momentum as possible in order to get what can only be
deemed as “way to heavy fool”.
No 1: The
“Dalai Lama”: excuse me your wholiness, apparently you have been on you
tube again and think you now have a degree and can offer advice around the gym .
I am all for sharing ideas around but don’t give poor little Johnny a hernia on
his first day just because you are keen to pass around your new found wisdom.
Well there
you have it. Don’t be fooled by what you think goes on in a gym until you have
experienced it. We are all very different characters with our own stories to
tell but we strive for similar goals and we come together under the one roof to
achieve a fitter and healthier way of life that is all for the greater good.
